at 3am, you can usually hear sprinklers

spinning themselves around and releasing water.
you can usually hear
the train and the crickets
and the hot water heater clicking on and off.

but last night i didn’t hear any of those things
because lydia was crying.

a nightmare.

what is it, leanne asked.

still half her body submerged in the dream,
lydia sobs -
you were supposed to not draw it that way.

leanne, it seems drew outside the lines.

and if i didn’t do it out loud,
at least i did it in my own dream:

i laughed.

i laughed because i was so overjoyed
that lydia wasn’t having nightmares
about her mother being sick or bald
or in the hospital
or dead.

i laughed that maybe the thing that lydia
is most afraid of right now in her life
is that someone isn’t drawing
inside the lines.

and as disturbing and perfectionistic as that may be,
it’s still a million times better
than worrying that you’ll be
alone in this world
forever.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “at 3am, you can usually hear sprinklers

  1. Amy

    That is very beautiful

  2. now this why i read here. beautiful pictures you create with out giving us a photograph..blessings to you and yours.

  3. Amy

    Yes. The small normal easy worries, so simple to reassure. What a wonderful thing.
    As you know I am finishing up breast cancer treatment (almost done now!). The other day my 20 something daughter called me crying – broken heart-guy trouble. What a wondrous thing that she could reach out to me to comfort her about something besides the thing we were so afraid of months back. The small normal easy worries -they have a certain joy to them don’t they?

  4. Suzanne

    I haven’t been here for awhile, and I’m just overwhelmed with emotion for your family. I can hardly believe that you have Rena now! And named after that wonderful grandma. I am so, so happy for you all.

  5. Sondra

    Isn’t Life “Wonderful?” So happy for all of you.

  6. i just found you on blogged. i was diagnosed with hodgkin’s in may and have been blogging about it ever since then. you have a wonderful way with words, it’s so great to read.

    congrats on being a survivor :-)

    Lauren
    http://www.papergownsupermodel.blogspot.com

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