all systems clear (almost)

it’s good.  it really is.  it’s almost clear.  there’s just one little place in my spleen that’s not completely normal- the doctor thinks it’s probably scar tissue, but we need to watch it.  so, i’ll have my next scan in 2 months instead of 3.  and, if it’s any worse, then the spleen comes out.  [...]

that’s amore…

so, last night we left lydia with the girl that leanne used to babysit
when she was in high school, and got dressed up (a little)
and went out on the town.
“no making out with boys on the couch,” leanne said.
and we, for once, decided on a restaurant quickly and easily
and stuck to it – something we [...]

look, people

i certainly appreciate all the good thoughts
and the advice to “just live and be happy”
and i wish it were as easy as that.
but it’s not.
it’s different.
go on, go get cancer and try it.
and then go on and get pregnant and bring your cancer back again
and this time don’t beat it, but die from it.
or have [...]

83

that’s how many miles i rode on saturday
in preparation for the 100 i need to ride on june 3rd
around lake tahoe
in honor of leanne
and in defiance of lymphoma
and in friendship
and in fear
and in the hopes that doing something hard
will get me closer to my wife
and what she, and too many others,
have to do every day.
yes, [...]

greetings and salutations

as i (leanne) reflect on many aspects of the last few months, many images come to mind, a lot having to do with how people have reacted to seeing me or what strangers feel comfortable sharing or….
the scruffy sketchy greasy guy in the pizza joint who grinned excitedly and said “i [...]

i’m gonna six you up

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
tick tock, you don’t stop,
as color me bad would say.
maybe they were onto something.
leanne is asleep in the chemo chair,
the drip of the IV inaudible and obvious,
her eyes twitch beneath her lids, then stop,
then twitch again.
it is, they have told us, the last [...]

plans

i’ve never been much of a planner.
ask anyone around and they’ll tell you.
i call to make dinner plans for friday night,
on friday night.
but not leanne.
leanne knew she wanted to be a physical therapist
when she was in high school.  she worked in a pediatric
hospital before she ever got into college and worked with kids
who would never [...]

telling, listening and lingling’s list

it’s good to hear where so many of you are coming from.
so many people with connections to cancer.
too many, if you ask me, and at the same time,
just enough.
i think you know what i mean.
funny thing, stories…
it’s obvious that we tell stories in order to inform,
so that we may impart data in a context that’s [...]

lost and found

on monday we went to the 12th floor again,
as we do every week, for a blood test.
this time, and all through the day and night before,
leanne was having trouble breathing.
it would’ve been a gimme to chalk up the breathlessness
to the hooters girl who served us the night before, but
we opted for a slightly more medical [...]