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this is lingling’s lymphoma:

this is lingling’s lymphoma on drugs:

any questions?

ok, fine, i’m sure there are a bunch of questions:

q: danny, what was the petscan result?
a: good question, danny. the cancer is 95% gone. popped. like corn. just flat out gone. none in her neck, none in her bones, nada. just some residual stuff in the abdomen. but really, it just decided to get outta dodge.

q: danny, why did you use corn?
a: corn has always held a special place in my heart and in the heart of mine and leanne’s love story. in fact, it seemed like yesterday when a handed her a buttered ear of corn at the yuba county fair and asked for her hand in marriage. she took the corn from me, sank her teeth into it, and i…well, i took that as a “yes”. the rest is history.

q: danny, are you high?
a: yes, i may just be.

q: danny, who gives a shit about corn. we want to know about the cancer.
a: um, that’s not technically a question, so, um, technically i don’t have to answer it…this being a q and a and all…but, well, the cancer is smaller and that makes us happy. really happy. you got a problem with that?

q: danny, i’m supposed to be asking the questions here.
a: then why don’t you start doing you job?

q: danny, i don’t like the way this interview is going. i mean, i like the results of the PETscan and all, but you’re being really, really contentious.
a: you’re right. good news makes me contentious. always has.

q: danny, when did you even write this post?
a: at 7:02 am.

q: but danny, you hadn’t even heard the results yet.
a: that’s not a question either, but i’ll address it anyway. you’re right, we hadn’t received a call. but i received a call a long time ago.

q: from god, danny? from god?
a: no, silly. from you.

q: me?
a: yep.

q: wait a minute. if you’re danny….then who am i?
a: best question you’ve asked all day. you’re my inner danny.

q: inner what?
a: my inner danny.

q: oh. ok, i’m starting to get it now. that explains a lot. i’ve been wondering where my skin is.
a: yeah, sorry to break it to you. i thought you could take it, especially after the cancer and all that.

q: yeah.
a: yeah.

q: ok…so…um, should i call you “outer” danny, seeing as i’m “inner” danny and all that?
a: nah…you can just call me danny.

q: how bout we compromise and i call you danny, husband of the smaller cancerous lingling?
a: fine by me, chief. but it’s just the cancer that’s smaller, right? lingling isn’t getting any smaller, right?

q: that’s a question, danny.
a: dang.

q: but yeah, danny, just the cancer’s getting smaller.
a: yahtzee. that’s what i like to hear.

q: me too.
a: me too.

q: but, danny, what would you have written if the news came back not so good?
a: danny, that just wasn’t an option.

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